Was it the phone ringing in the night...that 
first alerted you about the heart-ache ahead?
Or was it a police officer knocking...hesitantly,
...timidly on your door? Or  was it possibly a 
friend sent over to be the bearer...of
painful, unthinkable news? Or were you 
there to witness the moment of...horror yourself? 
Whatever manner the news was delivered the result 
was the same. Life had...irrevocably changed. A split 
second in time, an accident, an injury, an aneurysm, 
a stroke, a tumor, whatever the heart-wrenching details 
the story is still  basically the same. The brain...that 
one organ of the body that controls everything, was 
hurt...hurt..The degree of hurt is different for everyone, 
but the frustration and the fact that life changed forever 
is universal. Do you remember the words...brain damage? 
Do you remember that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? 
Do you remember thinking there must be some tremendous mistake,
that this could  not possibly be true? Do you remember trying to 
turn back the huge hands of time? Do you remember bargaining 
and pleading with God? Do you remember trying to pretend this 
was a nightmare, that you would awaken from eventually? Do you 
remember wondering if you were somehow being punished for some 
terrible past deed? Do you remember when TBI, ABI, survivor, 
and caregiver were only words in your vocabulary, rather than 
a way of life? Do you remember all the energy and hours 
playing the "what could have been" game? Do you remember 
the anger and the remorse? Do you remember wanting to blame 
anyone, and everyone for this unforgivable twist in the course 
of your life? Do you remember the pain and the uncertainty 
about what the future would hold? Do you remember that with 
the passing of time, the disbelief gave way to realization? 
Do you remember when the feelings of horror started turning  
into feelings of reality? Do you remember when the pain started 
being less acute, when taking a deep breath was no longer 
impossible or quite as painful? Do you remember when the grief 
process allowed you to release some of the over-whelming 
frustration? Do you remember when the anger started to finally 
begin to dissipate? Do you remember that first cup of coffee 
that could be once again considered enjoyable and yes, even 
relaxing? Do you remember when you first started noticing the 
beauty of the rainbow after a gentle rain shower? Do you remember
when you first started to notice the beauty in the change of 
seasons? Do you remember the first time you noticed that the 
birds were still singing from the tree-tops? Do you remember 
the first time you heard a sad...heart-breaking story and said to
yourself "But by the grace of God there go I", It could be worse?
Did you know that this means that your heart is finally on the 
path to recovery and acceptance?

by: Debbie Wilson

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