Like a lens coming sharply into focus,
A sudden change of the sounds around me
Announces and over-rides all else.
An instant grip of worry is triggered, and clenches tight.
Clarity increases, louder, louder,
until there's too much detail to understand,
And it all turns to a million echoes.
This is the warning, too late.
They say we cannot see the future? ...I can.
I am a clockwork toy being wound up for its performance.
Now that I know, I should only wait for time to take its course.
Yet I use every nerve to make sense of this uproar,
Every muscle to fight for control.
"Resistance is useless...".
Nowhere more true than here.
Then the cogs start moving, without choice.
The machinery grinds into motion.
Scrabbling frantically, the earth gives way,
And I am a rag doll falling into the abyss.
I cannot climb from the whirlpool,
There are no ladders, no handholds.
And if I were to succeed,
There is only quicksand to welcome me outside,
And drag me crawling down again.
I plead,
But for one brief moment
Impossibility makes it very easy.
I know I've lost and I succumb.
Externality just fades and turns into fright.
A gripping lonesome fear.
It leaves me just a piece of dangling string from a thinking head,
And the thinking falls away to shameful gibberish.
The product of those years of learning and experience,
Now thrown upon the scrap heap.
I can only stare at what has become of me, wordless.
This churning verbal mess which once held understanding
Cannot even call for help.
My hope lies shattered on the floor,
and the fragments dissolve in front of my disbelieving eyes.


A hand reaches out,
And turns the dream off.....


When it arrives,
The return of comprehension brings more despair than thankfulness.
The glue that held my life together has given way once more.
Without it,
I must put it together again,
Or face the world tomorrow without a skin.


The Poetry Room




Produced by Dickibus , who would appreciate any comments you might have!