Another day, it can't be long now,
The minute hand edges its way
Towards freedom,
And safe escape.
Another easy success,
Maybe I've..
BUT WAIT......

One sound misheard...surely not, not now.
Just imagination.
A quickening pulse, a breath.
Oh, please no, not here, I thought I'd won today.
Pause -
Listen to the echoing deafness as the avalanche builds,
And confirms your fear.

A thousand voices talking,
A thousand eyes all watching.
Where can I run, where can I hide?
Why can I not be a snail and creep inside my shell?
Willing, struggling, but I cannot fight and I cannot win.
Clutching at the last straw of reality slipping through my fingers.
Surrender. I've failed.
Here we go what?
Then chaos rules.

A thousand voices watching,
A thousand eyes all talking.
The terror of the earthquake
In the dim orange caverns of my own cocoon.
The frozen tongue, the tumultuous mind,
The jumbled words which won't come out nor go away.
The crack in my world has opened again and it all pours out
Like a spilt dictionary on the asylum floor.
Outside - What if..?

This time I cannot remember.
Blankness, not dark.
A part of my life
Surgically removed with the sharpest of scalpels.
Instantly healed
To leave no trace inside but fear.
The other me kept so secret not even I know.
But who else now does?
Who has seen my leaking mind, and wondered how far it goes?

A voice...
A meaning...
And slowly, so slowly
Sanity returns,
Like a butterfly emerging into the world it left behind.
Where? Who? What? Why me?
Always one more question than the answers can go round.
Another day, matter...

It's nearly over, but who cares now?
Another failed day.

Back to poem list                 Homepage