Was it the phone ringing in the night...that
first alerted you about the heart- ache ahead?
Or was it the police, knocking...hesitantly
...timidly on your door? Or was it possibly a
friend sent over to be the bearer...of
painful, unthinkable news? Or were you there to witness the moment
of...horror yourself? Whatever manner the news was delivered the result was
the same. Life had...irrevocably changed. A split second in time, an
accident, an injury, an aneurysm, a stroke, a tumor, whatever the
heart-wrenching details the story is still basically identical. The
brain...that one organ of the body that controls everything, was
hurt...hurt..The degree of hurt is different for everyone, but the
frustration and the fact that life changed forever is universal. Do you
remember the words...brain damage? Do you remember that sick feeling in the
pit of your stomach? Do you remember thinking there must be some mistake,
that this could not possibly be true? Do you remember trying to turn back
the huge hands of time? Do you remember bargaining and pleading with God? Do
you remember trying to pretend this was a nightmare, that you would awaken
from eventually? Do you remember wondering if you were somehow being
punished for some terrible past deed? Do you remember when TBI, ABI,
survivor, and caregiver were only words in your vocabulary, rather than a
way of life? Do you remember all the energy and hours playing the "what
could have been" game? Do you remember the anger and the remorse? Do you
remember wanting to blame anyone, and everyone for this unforgivable twist
in the course of your life? Do you remember the pain and the uncertainty
about what the future would hold? Do you remember that with the passing of
time, the disbelief gave way to realization? Do you remember when the
feelings of horror started turning into feelings of reality? Do you
remember when the pain started being less acute, when taking a deep breath
was no longer impossible or quite as painful? Do you remember when the grief
process allowed you to release some of the over-whelming frustration? Do you
remember when the anger started to finally dissipate? Do you remember that
first cup of coffee that could be once again enjoyable and yes, even
relaxing? Do you remember when you first started noticing the beauty of the
rainbow after a gentle rain shower? Do you remember the first time you heard
a sad...heart-breaking story and said to yourself "But by the grace of God
there go I?" Did you know that this means that your heart is finally on the path to recovery and acceptance?

by: Debbie Wilson