The very first contacts with Rushki.
Auckland, New Zealand. 1973.
Love at first sight:
I'd always imagined the very
human concept of 'Love, at first sight', to be a
rather daunting sensibility.As though regardless
of our best interests or wishes, we really possess
little control over our emotional selves at all.
'Love at first sight', where on Earth do we get such notions? When the sexual genders are so incredibly different.
To best illustrate this undeniable difference, we'd have to journey back to our childhood innocence, when children would daydream about such things as 'Love'.
The Genders - Girls?
Girls would imagine handsome and gallant knights astride brave steeds, doing battle and slaying imaginary beasts, whose physical size was always commensurate to their wicked intent. Evil vanquished, the fair lady's heart is not yet 'conquered'. Until, the inevitable 'wake up kiss', and it had to be the 'kiss of kisses', from the 'handsomest of princes,' in order for them to live happily ever after. Or to ride off together into the setting sun notwithstanding.
Most girls don't daydream about being locked away in a dirty old 'tower,' eeeuuuww! Pleading for rescue. The evil tower isn't really that much of a challenge for the average testosterone-driven and enterprising male. However, girls always expect more. They require 'proof', of love everlasting. They don't want the old Victoriana; 'requiem- sounding- "How do I love thee, let me count the ways." They much prefer; 'show me.' Just ask them. They'd like you to ask. Men who'll jump through 'hoops' in order to win their fair hearts doesn't do it for them either. Women know what's up.
The Genders - Boys?
Boy's on the other hand are far less pragmatic. and for that reason vulnerable. A fair maiden in need of rescue is just an invitation to a brawl, and not as an opportunity to develop a few inter-personal relationship skills with the opposite gender. Boy's will engage wholeheartedly in pitched-battle against a saloon full of cutthroats and gunslingers, then single-handedly dispatch a battalion of enemy troops, check to see if the girl is alright, push her out of danger and jump right back into the foray. Never giving her a second thought. When it comes to most 'love-issues', men are born clueless, and have been losing ground ever since. This was also the environment I, like so many other boy's were raised in. I'm not one given to putting much stock in pre-cognitive, or pre-ordained anything. Destiny, Fate, and the myriad of other descriptive characterizations of that ilk. Call it what you like, the concept of 'Love at first sight', belongs in this group. At least so I thought.
Ah - Men?
I happen to believe we are fundamentally nothing more that an accidental and random pattern of sub-atomic particles and quarks, careening purposelessly about the universe in ignorant bliss. Until such time when our sub-atomic particles collide head-on with someone else's sub-atomic particles. The resulting chain reaction puts us squarely on the path to the true purpose of the rest of our lives. Or it destroys us. That's life. Some believe this is the very essence of what we refer to as 'chemistry,' between human beings. You believe whatever you like. Things such as, comfort, nostalgia, sentimentality, kindness, mixed with a liberal amount of alcohol and a heavy dose of pheromones, all add to the list of ingredients which set the stage for falling in love with someone. According to most men.
Most women believe in "Love, at first sight'. Most men do not. Don't bother trying to figure it out, you'll just get a headache. It's an instinctive thing with women, they were born with it.
-- -- --
I'm six foot one and a half inches tall, with long legs that zip along at a pretty good clip when I'm in a hurry to be somewhere. I was nearing the corner of Karangahape Road and Upper Queen Street, in Auckland. It was a Friday evening and 'late shopping night' on 'K'- Road, and as usual, it was also wall-to-wall people.
That's when I saw her for the very first time. I think she was with her sister, or perhaps a girlfriend, in the streaming shopper-throng passing by. It was just a flashing glimpse across the eyes, a fleeting eye-lock contact lasting less than two-tenths of a second.
What got me were...
Those eyes are what got me. I stopped and turned around to see after her but she was already lost to me in the crowd. I was slightly disappointed I didn't get the chance to see her twice but continued on my way, occasionally glancing back over my shoulder just in case she appeared once again.
I'd always been fascinated by actress Audrey Hepburn's incredibly beautiful eyes, and I just saw them on Karangahape Road, in Auckland, New Zealand. Of all the places on this planet I could have been in space and time, for less than two-tenths of a second out of my life. The impact of those two-tenths of a second was odd in a way, the realization that I'd even thought it 'odd' both surprised and disturbed me slightly. I mentally filed it under 'gravity-storm', which is what I do when something defies a rational and immediate explanation or conclusion, and thought no more of it. 'Gravity-storms' happen.
It's two weeks later now, and I'm doing laundry at my digs on City Road near the Grafton Bridge. She's suddenly there. Those very same eyes once again, belonging to that very same beautiful girl, there in the noisy and steamy laundry room. She's visiting Jean-Guy and Judy, my friends from upstairs. I'd like to describe where we all lived at that time, but it really defies description. It wasn't apartments, and it wasn't a hotel/motel, probably something in between. The owner / landlord / builder, was a very personable London-Cockney, a real 'Eastender' named Jim. When everyone paid their rent on time, another part of the perpetually unfinished building inched toward completion. Judy and Jean-Guy had one of the nicer end-units. Lots of glass and daylight, and a tiny bit of a view of the Auckland skyline. Judy is a student nurse, and so is her friend; the one I cannot for the life of me take my eyes off.
Her name is Valerie. She's a little bit shy around me and I find that terribly sexy. Very appealing. Her eyes are a gloriously lustrous hazel, and filled with such wonderful light. Huge windows I get hopelessly lost in immediately. Her hair is long, a soft chestnut brown with many little flashing coppery highlights, when tossed in sunlight. This is very different. I don't know how yet. But this is definitely very, very, different. After what just may have been a dress rehearsal or perhaps a false-start on Karangahape Road two weeks earlier, in a near sub-atomic particle collision.
I believe this incredibly beautiful and intelligent creature has now entered my life.
I also believe that whatever happens from this day forward, I can never be the same person again.